Top 25: Funny Sayings

If you have to say something, say something meaningful. If to that you can add something funny, you will definitely have a winner.

I don’t know if you agree with me, but I prefer people that can touch me somehow with their words; even so if they are witty. I am sucker for people that are blessed with sense of humor.

Hope you find the following quotes as witty as I did. Do me a favor; never lose your sense of humor. In today’s world, I find it one of the greatest assets that a human being can have.


1.
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die – Albert King

2.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it – Anonymous

3.
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning – Anonymous

4.
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do – Walter Bagehot

5.
Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years – Anonymous

6.
Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad – P. D. East

7.
I’m old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway – Anonymous

8.
The road to success is always under construction – Lily Tomlin

9.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits – Albert Einstein

10.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature – Dave Barry

11.
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you – Joey Adams

12.
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too – Anonymous


13.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see – Anonymous

14.
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite – Anonymous

15.
If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried – Anonymous

16.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing – Emo Philips

17.
I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing – Socrates

18.
It’s not important to win, it’s important to make the other guy lose – Anonymous

19.
To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you – Anonymous

20.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years…. then we met – Anonymous

21.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories – Anonymous

22.
The best revenge is massive success – Frank Sinatra

23.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat – Anonymous

24.
He who laughs last didn’t get it – Helen Giangregorio

25.
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees – Benjamin Franklin