Top 20: Funniest Puns

Warning: Reader discretion advised

I am the kind of person that really loves to laugh and I strongly believe that in order to go through life the best way possible you do need a good laugh, once in a while. Everything seems much easier after a good laugh.

Thus, I am always seeking for material that will provide me with a good laugh, but because my memory is not as good as it used to be (too much usage), I need this material to be as short as possible in order to be easy to memorize. Once I read them, I then spend a few days that they come to mind and I have a good laugh, even I am on my one. I guarantee you that there is nothing better. Also it is a good ice breaker in group conversations.

Before starting to write the top 20 funniest puns, it is important to clarify what is a pun:

Therefore, “A pun, or paronomasia, is a form of word play that deliberately exploits an ambiguity between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect. Such ambiguity may arise from the intentional misuse of homophonical, homographical, homonymic, polysemic, metonymic, or metaphorical language.”

Basically, a Pun is a play on words.

Hope you enjoy this top:

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Two silk worms had a race. They wound up in a tie.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Stop it with the gay jokes. Cum on guys.

A hole has been found in a nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug-rehab center that said “Keep off the grass”.

Why do we have noses that run and feet that smell?

Is google a woman? Because it won’t let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase “fire at will”.

Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Period.

There are plenty of fish in the sea but until I’m catch one I just stay here holding my rod.

Enough with crippled jokes! I just can’t stand them.

Never trust atoms, they make up everything.

To the guy who invented Zero: thanks for nothing!

People, who say that they suffer from constipation, are full of shit.

When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on!

It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle; he didn’t have the balls for it!

Having sex on the elevator is wrong, on so many levels.

I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.

The person, who invented the door knock, won the no-bell prize.